Deleting drama from my inbox with emotional intel

Have you been in this situation?

An email sent to the board of directors or colleagues at your association sparks controversy. An argument ensues and the email trail grows rapidly. Emotions flare. Side conversations erupt and blind copy is used. Before you know it, the point of the original email is totally lost.

Some days it seems the "e" in email stands for "emotional."  Wouldn’t it be easier to cut through that drama and discuss the association’s strategic direction, membership retention or marketing initiatives? After all, isn’t that why we are associating in the first place?

Association professionals know the importance of effective communication and since email is an integral part of our daily lives, being good at email communication means being an effective association professional.

When I participated in a tweet chat on emotional intelligence (EI) via #assnchat on Twitter, I couldn’t help but wonder how EI can be used to avoid email disasters like the scenario above. Working with volunteer leaders at various trade associations, some of my relationships are exclusively based on email. Using a bit of EI in my email correspondence goes a long way in getting my messages across and increasing productivity.

So, what’s Emotional Intelligence?
During an ASAE CareerHQ event this week, executive coach, trainer, and facilitator Tom Pierce shared how EI can be used as career insurance. People are hired for their IQ, he said, and fired for their personality, or low EQ (emotional intelligence). This makes EI pretty important!

So what is emotional intelligence? EI is the ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and in others. Emotional Intelligence 2.0, a book by TalentSmart, describes the building blocks of EI as:

• self-awareness,
• self-management,
• social awareness and
• relationship management.

A basic component of EI is awareness of your own feelings and mood as well as those of others. The book also includes a test to measure your EI and gives tips on how to boost your emotional intelligence.

In an interview with Kiki L’Italien on EI, Jamie Notter noted management of emotions--of self and others-- are more important aspects of EI than the way one expresses emotions. Having a sense of empathy, or the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, also improves your EI.

How to use EI in email communication
Miscommunication involving emotional breakdowns is breeding ground for major problems with governance groups. Intentional sarcasm, condescension or anger in an email message only makes matters worse. Emotion portrayed in an email can be interpreted differently when being read by different people in the same way that a story or poem will have various interpretations. This makes awareness of emotions over email very tricky, even for those with the most advanced EI.

I employ these tactics to delete the emotional drama that is taking up so much of my "soft drive:"

• Be brief and be clear. – Write short email with a crystal clear point. Use facts and avoid being too opinionated. It leaves room for misinterpretation.

• Wait. – Write your email, proofread it, and take care of some other business before you have second look at it. When you read it a second or third time, did it convey the tone you intended? If you were emotional when you wrote it, a little time can settle you down, allowing you to communicate your message in a much better way. Obviously, not every email can be treated this way, but pick out the important ones.

• Pick up the phone! – While email can be quick and convenient, certain discussions need to be handled over the phone, or in person. It is easier to gauge emotions when you can pick up on cues like tone and body language when you are speaking over the phone or face to face.

Emotion is a natural part of any communication and shouldn’t be avoided completely. The challenge is to avoid turning conflicting emotions into drama. Engaging your EI, managing your emotions and those around you while communicating via email will make your job a lot easier.

Is Technology impairing the EI of young professionals?

As part of his presentation, Tom showed us some interesting data on age and EI trends. The older you are the more EI you possess. Does this mean young professionals have less EI because there is more technology out there (social media, texting, email) that virtually eliminates the need to interact with human beings? Or, does the data indicate that it takes time and experience to cultivate and nurture your emotional intelligence?

I like to think that the latter is true. Research has demonstrated that EI is crucial in relationship management at any age, but if you are aware of EI and build that relationship capital as a young professional, you will be ahead of the curve. I don' think technology impairs EI, but rather helps to flourish it. As Daniel Goleman noted in his pioneer 1995 New York Times bestseller Emotional Intelligence, the practical lesson for us all comes down to: Nourish your social connections.

Prepare an RFP and Get the Services Your Org Needs

You are on the board of a small nonprofit looking for management services or a meeting planner who needs some help promoting/planning your next meeting. How do you get help?
Whether you are seeking greater efficiencies and economies for your independent association or annual conference, a change of your association management company, or have reached the point in the association’s evolution when you need to hire professional staff, the initial step is to develop a request for proposal (RFP). Developing an RFP that will attract just the kind of management your organization needs is critical to accomplishing your strategic goals.
Half the battle is knowing what you want. The other half is communicating it.
These are tips were prepared with association/meeting management services in mind, but can apply to any RFP process to get the services your organization needs.

Who prepares the RFP?
The best way to begin is to form a small task force or search committee of involved members who are knowledgeable about the work of the association. Often, when work is divided among a number of volunteers and committees, or is delegated to staff, it may be difficult to define exactly what’s involved in the management of the association on a day-to-day basis. Ask people who have been recently involved to participate in the task force as well as past and future leaders.

What does the RFP include?
First, association management companies will want a profile of the organization. A good starting point is to obtain the “Request for Association Information” form developed by ASAE. This form asks many of the questions that AMCs need to know about the organization, including:

* Is your organization incorporated? If so, in what state?
* Is your organization recognized by the Internal Revenue Service as tax exempt? If so, under what code (i.e. 501 (c)(3), 501 (c)(6))?
* What is the purpose of your organization?
* What type of organization is it?
* Board composition?
* Details on committees.
* Who is currently managing the association?
* How many members do you have? What are the categories of membership?
* What is the potential number of members available in your profession or industry?
* What is your total budget? What is the present dues structure?
* Describe your governance structure. Attach an organizational chart if available.
* How often does your governing body meet?
* Does your organization have a strategic plan? Goals?
* What are your most urgent problems or concerns?
* What are the most significant accomplishments you wish to achieve through a management transition and what do you feel is a reasonable time frame in which you would expect them to be achieved?
* Other profile information that will help the AMC understand the scope of the association’s activities and programs.

Be realistic. Avoid “wish lists.” Rather, describe the essential services your organization requires, areas where volunteer time and talent are not being contributed, and areas where the expertise of a professional in association management is needed.
Be specific. If you ask for a proposal to “manage our annual conference,” AMCs will require a great deal of additional information, such as duration of the conference, format, number of attendees, number of programs, specifics on social events, details on exhibits management services to be provided, and publications associated with the event. A similar level of specification will be required if you request a quotation for “publishing the newsletter.”

Include samples, whenever possible, of your newsletter, convention brochure, membership directory, operating budget, trade show brochure, and bylaws. Remember, you can’t provide too much information.

What is the deadline for responding?
AMCs will want information on process and deadlines. A reasonable amount of time for the AMC to respond to the RFP is typically four to six weeks.

What bidders need to include with the response?
You should request a list of references, a company profile, and background on the staff to be assigned to the association.

How will the selection be made?
Often the search committee will select two or three final candidates to be interviewed by the full board. Give the date of the final interviews, the date the decision will be made, and when prospects will be notified. Include the name of the individual who will respond to questions.

Who should receive the RFP?
Many associations wish to contract with a management company that manages associations similar in size or in industries similar to theirs. The business of managing an association, however, requires a body of knowledge unrelated to the industry or professional practice of the organization’s members. More important than whether the company “speaks your members’ language” is its level of experience in association management—including expertise in nonprofit tax and regulatory issues; governance structure and volunteer relations; and such legal issues as foundations and subsidiary corporations, generation of non dues income, and chapter relations.
Following these tips will lay the groundwork for getting quality proposals and help bidders better understand your organization's needs and wants.
Good luck!